I want so BADLY to be with somebody. I'm sure I'd feel so much better about myself and my current situation if someone cared about me like that. I can lean on my friends and my family, but it feels like there's a chunk missing from me- a chunk that won't be filled for a long time.

AHHH. I guess to an extent I still have a crush on someone- no, not Brodie. The person I'm talking about knows who she is- I hope. When I told her she didn't seem to get the point. Goddamn you. but not really. I love you <333

Ah this is a bit rambly! I'm filled with so many emotions. I just want to hug and kiss everyone I see, love them all... I want someone, someone to focus my love on one person. A person to make me forget my anger, and just make me happier.

If I could find someone... Hell, by this point I'd be happy with a girl, too. I used to want to date a guy just because it would make me feel protected. But some others need protection too, I suppose, and girls are so soft and beautiful.

I want to hold someone's hand, I want to hug them for no reason. I want to kiss the top of their head and make them beg for me to stop tickling them.

Caaaan... Anybodyyyy... Find me-e-e-e... Somebody to... Love?


I know I said I like Jayke- I do, but really it's just a building thing. I feel bad for saying it but... if what I'm saying later doesn't work I'll... AGH, I don't need to worry about HIM XD HE won't like me. I may as well do it. The first time I told her she... didn't seem to get it. So here goes.

I really do love my other friend- you should see me when she logs in. I'm ridiculous. No, really. For a full minute I sit there screaming her name over and over like she's the person I get most excited to see. Really, I think she is.

Ah, I'm sorry if I upset anyone by that last statement!

I mean I hardly get to see her. But I hope soon she'll have MSN at her Dad's... Really I don't know why I'm writing this.

A relationship can fuck up what started out as a friendship. I mean look what happened with Brodie and I. *Shrug* But really I guess that's the only way it'll work. And even if you don't start off as friends, they BECOME a friend. So either way it's losing a friend.

Of course confessing love is a bad idea too. You can make 'em want to back off, and just ZOOM, jet outta there. So, nobody does it enough. But really, what's the use of not taking risks?

But I won't ever SEE her. She's so far away... and we're too poor to go down and just visit her. Ah I want to meet you so much! But you might not accept this. And trust me, I can still be your friend if you don't... It won't really change anything. Actually I need you to be my friend no matter what. Please. I really don't know how I'd survive without you. LISTEN TO ME! All pitiful. D<

All of a sudden the "Submit" button is the most terrifying thing in the world. Well, I'm just gonna come out and say it.




Emily Laura K. K., I'm pretty sure I love you?